Wednesday, 24 December 2025

Happy Holidays

I’ve made no secret over the years how I feel about the Christmas season. There is a layer of stress involved that stretches months before you finally sit down to open gifts. I remember my grandfather, never much of a drinker, enjoying a few sips of cherry brandy Christmas morning. If ever there was going to be a time for drinking, that was it, and I completely get it. My slow and steady transformation into my grandfather is more apparent every passing year.

The financial burden is obvious, and not worth delving further into, since so many people stress over the lack of funds available to keep up with the Joneses. It comes off a little disingenuous to complain about spending too much money. Besides, we put the burden on ourselves. We raise our children’s expectations to the point we’re committed to debt over financing an hour or so of frantic paper tearing.

There is so much waste—paper, tissue, ribbons and bows. If you go the environmental route, it feels a little less authentic. But adding all the whistles and bells to any given present inflates its overall cost. Not to mention the insufferable process of wrapping itself, since most gifts aren’t conveniently square. Tape, dull scissors, little bits of scraps that are almost impossible to sweep up. Where’s that cherry brandy…

Some people get two weeks off. Politicians often get upwards of a month off, which is not a great look, honestly. University students still work underpaying jobs, and are often guilted into working either Christmas Eve or New Years Eve, or both. Some get very basic days off and have to work in between. And emergency personnel often have to work on the holidays themselves. Some work away. Children of divorced or separated parents need to work out schedules that most of their respective families have to work around. Some people like to visit friends and family. Others like it when people visit them. Some people prefer solitude, whether for reflection, mourning, or just a rare opportunity for true silence. We always hear more clearly when it’s quiet, anyway.

The variables around Christmas season are staggering when you start to list them out like this. I’m a fairly pragmatic person, and as such, I always assess things based on cost versus benefit. The cost, as is plain to see, is tremendous. Even the most astute planners incur high costs, whether it’s in gift-giving, meal planning, gas for travel, or simply time off from work. We all get that.

It's the benefit that’s supposed to “make it all worth it”. And you know, it’s clichĂ© to say it, but seeing the joy in your children’s faces on Christmas morning goes a long way toward recuperating any financial setbacks. And if you don’t have kids, hopefully you find that same joy in your loved ones, your friends or neighbours, your colleagues, or in the memories of people you mourn.

The older I get, the more attuned I am to all these variables. We all approach the Christmas season in our own way, and it’s not always a joyous occasion. I have suffered personal losses on December 24th, and it is very hard to feel festive when things like this happen. As someone who struggles with anxiety, I have to take deep breaths and remind myself that these things are really insignificant in the big picture.

All of this to get to my actual point.

There is nothing around the holiday season that annoys me more than when people complain about some imagined “War on Christmas”. It’s manifested in many ways:
 
  • Some get really upset over people saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. For those new here, let’s go over some very basic facts: Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Year’s Day are holidays—plural. Some people celebrate Winter Solstice. Hannukah takes place over several days around this time. There are many faith communities that celebrate in late December and early January. “Happy Holidays” is a convenient way to offer good tidings to everyone, regardless of their traditions.
  • Besides, hasn’t “Seasons Greetings” always been acceptable to say? I fail to see the difference between that and “Happy Holidays”. Maybe some people would rather be told to go pound sand.
  • Some self-righteous and self-proclaimed etymologists also get all upset about spelling Christmas “Xmas”. They feel that by using “X” you’re somehow removing the “Christ” from “Christmas”. Little do they know that the letter X is a Greek letter called “chi” (pronounced k-eye), and it was literally the first letter in “Christos”. So, Xmas and Christmas are literally one and the same. If you want to write Christmas out long-form, go ahead. But raging about someone (like me) who abbreviates it routinely is just nonsensical.
  • Last time I checked, at least in Canada and the United States, Christmas is still recognized as a federal holiday, in which people are granted time off to observe as they choose—and even those who are not Christians receive this time off, too. Their holy days may not overlap with Christmas, and they are certainly not campaigning to see Christmas canceled, renamed, rearranged, or refitted to any other cultural norms. This particular fear comes from the anti-immigration people. You want to talk about spoiling the holidays? Maybe stop co-opting your own so-called holy day for politically based bigotry. Remember, most of our society still recognizes Sundays as days of rest. That’s a very Christian thing, you know. Think of that next time you go shopping on a Sunday.
 
These are examples of the ugliness that tends to seep out into conversation and social media pontificating around this time of year. Sure, everyone has the right to their own opinions, and free speech is still important. In fact, it’s so important, I intend to wish everyone “Happy Holidays” as often as possible. Is it to be that guy who deliberately wants to ruffle feathers? Maybe. Mostly, though, it’s the “happy” part I want to express. 

I spoke earlier about the cost versus the benefit; I feel immense happiness with my fiancée, my children, and my extended family throughout the holiday season, that, in those moments, all the worries and stresses disappear for a few days. I feel rejuvenated, ready to face the new year with my priorities straightened and my focus sharp. And I wish only for everyone to feel the same.

I hope everyone who has lost a loved one and is going through the first, second, or fiftieth Christmas without them finds peace and solace.

I hope everyone who has children revels in the joy they bring as they delight in opening their presents—whether they were hand-made, bought off Amazon, or from Value Village.

I hope everyone who is working away from home is able to talk to their families on the phone, or over Zoom, or read a Christmas card or letter, and that they feel some kind of connection, if only for a little while. And if they’re traveling, that the roads are clear, their coffee is hot, and they arrive at their destinations safe and sound.

I hope those from non-Christian faiths find peace while they watch the majority around them celebrate traditions that are foreign to them, even if they willingly came to Canada and choose to stay here. And I hope they understand how near-sighted some Christians can be.

I hope those who do not observe any religion find the same amount of comfort and rest that the holiday season offers. Whether you believe in anything spiritual or not makes you no less of a human being.

And I hope those who get so wound up over the non-existent “War on Christmas” realize that, while they are heaping undue and unhealthy stress on virtually everyone else, they find some basic understanding of humanity over the holiday season. I wish them the same goodwill I offer to everyone when I say “Happy Holidays”. Because I want them to be happy, too. I didn’t have to go to church to understand that.

Thursday, 11 September 2025

I Am Sorry for Your Loss

 I have never liked Charlie Kirk.

He was a well-spoken, educated, and talented orator. He was active in conservative youth circles and developed a reputation early in his career for galvanizing right-leaning people further into the cause. He used his skills to deftly steer debates and conversations into treatises on what we call the Project 2025 platform: the doctrine based around a successful reelection of Donald Trump and the implementation of far-right policy into law. By this doctrine, Charlie Kirk and others like him sought to make the United States unilaterally Christian as opposed to a secular nation where no single religion rules. He would have LGBTQ+ rights rolled back and rescinded when possible. He would have people deported without due process of law. He would see abortion rights completely eliminated. And he would do as much as possible to diminish black history, all under the pretense of making everyone “equal”. I’m reminded of Animal Farm: All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

I don’t understand how you can be female or have females in your life that you care about and support Charlie Kirk. He believed that women were not suitable for certain vocations, including law enforcement and the armed forces. He felt women belonged at home having as many babies as possible. The man of the house ought to have the final say on all things. This is not my interpretationlook it up for yourself. Imagine Charlie Kirk looking down at his young daughter and believing—teaching her that she would make a great baby-maker someday. His daughter deserves far more than that. And if you’re wondering, he has agreed with guests on his podcast who declared that women should never have gotten the vote. Feminism, to Charlie Kirk, is a “construct” that has held women back. That alone makes no sense whatsoever. By being freer, you’re more restricted?

(Note: All of these views can be easily searched and confirmed on various sites, pages, in articles, and in video clips freely available online. He has not been shy about sharing these views.)

I know this is the piece I’ll probably get crucified for. I have not joined the chorus of sympathizers offering the same thoughts and prayers that, as yet, haven’t stopped any other public shooting in the US. My official line, if people ask—and they are, a lot of them—is that I do not in any circumstance condone gun violence. Two young children watched their father get killed in public, and for the whole world to see. There’s no recovering from trauma like that. Charlie Kirk did not deserve to die like this. Life is a fundamental human right. Notwithstanding, when some governments decide to take life as punishment for certain crimes, but that’s a convenient loophole for when the state of Utah seeks the death penalty for the killer whenever they are caught. The governor implied as much. But I digress.

People who don’t take the time to read my words or hear my reasoning will assume that I’m a heartless bastard who takes joy in Charlie Kirk’s death. I assure you that is not the case. My heart sank when I heard he’d been shot, and I wanted to throw up when I heard he’d died. My first thoughts were for his kids. However, my thoughts then shifted to a much larger and potentially more dangerous scenario. He will go down as a martyr for the cause he’d championed for years. His followers will attribute his death to some sort of agenda to restrict his freedom of expression or that it will be some sort of attack on his faith. 

You see, he hid behind his “faith” all the time. His “faith” formed the basis of his views on LGBTQ+ rights, women’s roles, and the homogeneity of a Christian society. Of course, none of these things is inherently Christian. They are choices made by some who claim to be Christian, made and shoehorned into dogma as a means to justify these restrictive and bigoted views. While the killer’s motives remain unknown, I find it hard to believe he was killed for simply being a Christian. He has said far more inflammatory things to have drawn the ire of an assassin.

We don’t know who did it, but they’ll find him (or her—wouldn’t that be ironic) eventually. Donald Trump now has a reason to bring the hammer down on political opposition. I’ll bet right now that the perpetrator will somehow end up being killed before s/he can answer for their crime. Someone will make themselves a hero for killing the killer. I’m sure Kyle Rittenhouse has some time on his hands. He and Charlie were pals, you know.

There really isn’t much more to say. If you followed him while he was alive, you know exactly what he stood for. You’ll certainly be mourning his passing. Maybe he said something that truly spoke to you. I mean it sincerely when I say I’m sorry for your loss—grief is a powerful and painful emotion we all feel. But the keyword here is your. You see, to me, Charlie Kirk espoused and represented all that I believe is wrong in the US, and indeed, everywhere. He did not believe in equality. He clung to chauvinistic, misogynistic views; believed that "non-traditional Americans” do not have the same rights as those who fit his ideal; and sought to take rights away from those who wanted nothing more than to be treated with dignity. I am relieved that I no longer have to listen to him utter this brand of hate ever again. And I do not, and will never apologize for it. He believed that people I love are inferior to him. Why would I ever respect him for that?

But make no mistake, I am not celebrating anything. The loss of human life, particularly by violent means, is always a tragedy. Ideally, I would have rather seen Charlie Kirk just retire from public life, go home, tuck his children into bed and say prayers with them, away from any microphone, camera, or campus stage. But some moron chose to end his life, and here we are. I didn’t want it to end this way, but since we’re here and nothing can change it, I can at least be grateful he’s no longer spreading his signature brand of bigotry. His words hurt a lot of people.

Worse, the reaction to this will be similar to the attempt on Donald Trump’s life last year. Again, I didn’t want to see him shot to death, and for the same reasons. What it did, however, was create a cause for the far-right to rally around, and it has drawn in moderates based on sympathy toward his near-death experience and all they perceived it to mean. They tried to silence Trump; therefore, we all have to shout a little louder. It ended up helping him win re-election— the exact thing the gunman likely wanted to avoid.

Now, Charlie Kirk is more recognizable in death than he was only hours ago while he was alive. The message he carried is the reason anyone knows who he is. I would ask you: If you posted on social media that you felt bad for him, why? Why him, specifically? Did you feel the same way when Minnesota state representative Melissa Hortman and her husband were shot in their home for political reasons? Or for Breonna Taylor, or Trayvon Martin, or any of the hundreds of children who have been shot for the crime of going to school? Ask yourself what made this particular killing special? Because if it’s only about an innocent man with a wife and kids being unjustly murdered, I’d like to think your heart would hurt as much for anyone else.

But no, you chose Charlie Kirk. You know who he was. You know what he said—he never apologized. He offered no empathy to the marginalized. In fact, he once said that empathy is a dangerous emotion to have. A bit ironic, don’t you think?

Charlie Kirk is on video stating that a certain number of gun deaths are acceptable in society if that’s what it takes to protect the Second Amendment, the American right to bear arms. Looks like he took one for the team.